actually, I'm a sock model
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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