Cold hands, warm shart.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
