if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
