around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
