My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
