he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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