If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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