Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
