I think im going to throw up on grandma
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
