Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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