I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
