Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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