There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize