Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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