I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
