oh god the rape fog is back!
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
