State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
