READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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