Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
