I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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