thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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