i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
