The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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