# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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