I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
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