you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
