I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
