So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Terrible idea I love it
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
