if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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