Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
