I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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