i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
