yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
