Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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