Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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