Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so that wasnt chicken after all
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
