You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
