Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Randomize
