sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
operation have a gay friend backfired
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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