you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
