So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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