I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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