therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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