I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
