I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
