Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We are all done wearing pants today
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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