Do vagina's smell?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
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