As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
