Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
