Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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